Every guy fears dick cheese, but don’t ignore cheese dick: the result of peeing after eating Cheez-Its.
Because I'm sparing myself from my own judgment.
Just heard “Jessica” by The Allman Brothers and for the next three days, repeatedly, in my head.
"How many times do I have to tell you you’re deaf?" - a blind guy
To the guy that just pissed in an open stall instead of using one of the 4 free urinals: I don’t respect you but I admire you.
I was late for my first class because I thought I had enough time to watch Bob’s Burgers. Also, I still wear Velcro shoes.
Are the Oakland A’s ever going to come out of their angsty phase?
- Blink a lot.
I’m going to blink so hard I cry.